A Good Marriage - ten ideas to try before you call a divorce lawyer

I've been married to my wife coming up on 26 years. We've learned a lot about each other and relationships in that time. We have also learned that you never stop learning.

A portion of our business at the Vogel Law Firm is divorce and child custody work. I handle many different kinds of cases, but I will tell you this, family law is by far the hardest. It is the hardest for one, simple reason: people are in one of the most stressful times of their life.

Seems obvious, right? But, I will also share this: most of my criminal defense clients handle the threat of prison better than the threat of losing a relationship. And, most of my injured clients handle what, for some, may be a lifelong injury that will impact their quality of life with more grace than breaking up with a loved one.

So, before you pack the kids off to mom's so you can file on that guy, or before you get a hotel room so you can start looking for a more exciting woman, take the time to think about improving the marriage you have. Remember how much you treasured it when it first began. Isn't it worth saving?

I've included some words of advice from a wiser man than I, Dr. Phil. But I will comment on his last point - or, paraphrase it.

He says you teach people how to treat you and you can change it. I say that your marriage is the first place to start applying the golden rule: treat your spouse the way you want to be treated. Get that down, and you've got it made. Then, try it with your kids.

If you still think you need a family lawyer, call me, Bob Vogel at The Vogel Law Firm at 865-357-1949 or email rlvogel@robertvogellaw.com

A Good Marriage

After being happily married for 33 years, Dr. Phil shares some of his thoughts about what makes a marriage work:

The quality of a relationship is a function of the extent to which it is built on a solid underlying friendship and meets the needs of the two people involved.

You get what you give. When you give better, you get better.

If you put your relationship in a win/lose situation, it will be a lose/lose situation.

Forget whether you're right or wrong. The question is: Is what you're doing working or not working?

There is no right or wrong way to fix a relationship. Find your own way that works. But recognize when it's not working and be honest when it needs fixing.

Falling in love is not the same thing as being in love. Embrace the change and know that it takes work.

You don't fix things by fixing your partner.

Intimacy is so important because it is when we let someone else enter our private world.

You don't necessarily solve problems. You learn how to manage them.

Communicate. Make sure your sentences have verbs. Remember that only 7 percent of communication is verbal. Actions and non-verbal communication speak much louder.

You teach people how to treat you. You can renegotiate the rules.

Source: http://drphil.com/articles/article/53/