If I present at the emergency room with a severed finger, I will certainly be given attention for that wound.
What if it is the hospital's policy to remove the appendix of everyone that comes into the emergency room. They do it as a preventative measure, just in case you might have gotten appendicitis one day. And, I would have to pay the medical expense for the surgery. In order to receive treatment for my severed finger, I have to also agree to have my appendix removed and pay for it. If I don't, they won't treat my finger and I'll have to find someone else to do it.
And, for the rest of my life, whenever I go swimming and someone sees the scar from the appendix operation, they'll say - oh, you had appendicitis, and I'll have to say, no, I just had it out. And, then, I'll have to explain why so they won't think I'm lying about having appendicitis. After all, people with an healthy appendix don't have it removed, do they?
It's not that the hospital didn't offer to treat my finger. It is just that they added a condition to it that satisfied their agenda, even though it has nothing to do with me.
So, I'm standing in the lobby of the emergency room, with a dripping, bloody rag wrapped around my hand. I'm squeezing a pressure point in my wrist to try to slow down the bleeding. My friend has picked up my finger and stuck it in a cup of ice. We're ready to go.
Do I go ahead and sign the release for the hospital to remove my appendix so that I can get my finger treated, maybe put back on, or do I leave, hoping I can find someone in time who is willing and able to treat my finger and leave my appendix alone?
I get frustrated and angry because it is unfair. I'm trying to do the right thing, and they want more. Fundamentally, that feels unfair.
Now, once I cast something in the role of being unfair, then I must become opposed to it. It seems really stupid to me. But, why? Why does it make me feel that I have to resist?
Deep down inside, I feel pain. I feel fear. It hurts. I have trusted someone and feel betrayed. I feel that someone is trying to take advantage of me, trying to exploit the situation to their advantage. Once the trust is violated, I feel that I am in danger.
I also feel that they are trying to control me for no good reason, when it is just their policy to treat everyone the same way. I resist people trying to control me. I don't want to be controlled by another when there is no good reason for it. I'm scared of that. Especially when giving into the control means doing something that makes no sense. I feel betrayed. So, again, I am back to the trust issue. Someone who wants to have control over a part of me and my life has proven untrustworthy by making unreasonable demands.
If I can't trust the other person, then I have to protect myself from them. My fight or flight mechanism has kicked in. All the danger flags are erupting. For anyone as old as I am, you might be able to see the Robot on lost in space shouting "danger Will Robinson, danger" while its arms and sensors flail and whirl around.
When I'm in danger, I'm no longer reasonable. I can't be. Because I either want to run and hide, to avoid the danger, or if I can't get away, I need to fight the danger - to neutralize the threat, maybe even destroy it if I can.
Anyone who comes along and tries to reason with me about it gets lumped into the danger group. In order to preserve myself I must resist them. My friend, holding the cup of ice with my severed finger in it, who says "just go ahead and do it, what difference does it make" becomes the enemy.
A sense of moral outrage that comes with the absurd unfairness of this condition rises up in me. And, so, I'm back to the anger and resentment, which comes from that sense of fear and mistrust.
What I wish would happen is that the hospital would change its policies. I wish that the hospital would realize that cutting out a healthy appendix for no reason other than it is their policy to do so makes no sense. I wish they could see that blindly following their rule is going to cause me pain, suffering and humiliation that I should not have to endure. Making me do it is inappropriate.
I want them to see me as an individual. I want to be treated as a person. I don't want to be seen as just a set of boxes on a piece of paper that need to be checked off. Yup, there goes another appendix, healthy, but who cares. We followed our protocol. So, we did our job.
I'm told I don't really need my appendix, but is that a sufficient justification to give into the hospital's policy and agree to an invasive procedure that is completely unnecessary?
Yet, does it make me a fool to walk out of the hospital lobby with a bloody stump on my hand just to save my appendix? That seems stupid, too.
So, in the end, I'm angry and resent the hospital for forcing me to make that choice. I'm hurt because I feel they don't see me as an individual with individual needs. I'm scared because they seem unable to treat me for my specific needs. And, I'm also scared because I do have a need that has to be addressed right now.
My only hope is that there is another, more reasonable hospital nearby. But, I don't know if there is. So, in going to look for one, I put my finger at great risk. Is it worth it?
I really don't know. What are your thoughts?
Is there a right or wrong decision here? Is there another way out?
Bob Vogel
Attorney at the Vogel Law Firm
rlvogel@robertvogellaw.com
www.robertvogellaw.com
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